Round Conference Tables

Can anyone review or offer improvements to my letter requesting funds for my Eagle Scout Project?

Isaac R******** * ******** ******** *******, New York ***** ***-***-**** Friday, March 13, 2009 Dear (insert name/business/organization here), My name is Isaac R******** and I am a Life Scout and the Senior Patrol Leader of Troop 4070 in *******, New York. I am asking for donations for my Eagle Scout Project. But first, let me tell you a little about my career in Scouting. On March, 2002, I joined Boy Scout Troop 4070, and it has forever changed my life. Last September marked the beginning of my twelfth year as being a member of the Boy Scouts of America (B.S.A.), five years as a Cub Scout and seven years as a Boy Scout. I was also a member of Venturing Crew 4079 (Venturing is a division of the Boy Scouts of America) for two years, one of which I served as President. In 2005 I was inducted into the Order of the Arrow, Scouting's National Honor Society. In 2006, I attended a week-long National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) conference, where I graduated. In 2007 I was asked to return to be on the NYLT staff, which required one-hundred and eighty plus hours of public-speaking and leadership training. And in June, 2008, I was promoted to be my unit’s Senior Patrol Leader, which is the highest office of authority that a youth member can hold. I currently hold the rank of Life Scout the second highest rank in the B.S.A., but I plan to change this. Early last January I began planning out my Eagle Scout Project and on Thursday, March 12th, it was approved to begin by my District Round Table Committee. After a lot of measuring, pricing, and writing, I am ready to begin. For my Eagle Scout Project I plan to give leadership in designing and building five bookcases for the library at Saint Agnes School. Each bookcase will be custom built to fit its location and the books it will be housing. The bookshelves will be built to match neighboring bookshelves, and finishes will be matched to adjacent bookcases or at the school’s preference. In addition, I will also enter two bookcases’ worth of unprocessed books into the library’s catalog system. My project will benefit Saint Agnes School because the bookcases will replace broken bookshelves, make uses of otherwise unusable space, replace temporary, makeshift bookcases, and house books that were recently acquired by the school that currently have no place to be stored. Cataloging the books will also save countless hours of time for the librarian. To accomplish, or event start, this great task, I need the help of (insert families/businesses/ originations) like you for funding. I must raise about $815. I humbly ask you for a donation, any donation to help me purchase supplies and materials. No donation is too small. I hope and plan to have all the money by April. However, the sooner I have the funds, the sooner I may begin, which will give me more time to complete the project (it’s due in early May). (For your donations I will formally invite you to my Eagle Scout Court of Honor which I would like to have in late July or August.) OR (For your donations, I will inscribe a plaque with a list of contributing businesses & originations of which you will be part of. This plaque will be placed on one of the bookcases.) If you have any questions, feel free to contact me either through mail or phone. Thank you so much for supporting me and this origination which has brought me years of adventure, discipline, leadership, friendship, direction, and experience. Sincerely Yours, Isaac ****** R********

Public Comments

1. First, its a great project you have chosen, so good luck with it. The letter is just a bit too long. You have many accomplishments, but you need to condense them a bit in the 2nd paragraph, as many people will stop reading the letter if it goes on too long. Also, in paragraph 4, I would just say "To accomplish this task, I need the help.....for funding to raise about $815.00. Leave out the sentence "No donation is too small" as you have already stated that you are asking for any donation in the previous sentence. then "I hope to have the money by the beginning of April so that I can finish the project before the due date in early May. All donors will be (invited to my Eagle Scout Court of Honor in July or August) or (All donors' names will be inscribed on a plaque that will be placed on one of the bookcases.) Hope you get lots of money.
2. Hello Isaac: Congratulations on starting your Eagle Scout project! This is a very good letter, but as mentioned before, it is a bit long. How did you arrive at your very specific dollar amount? Could the person you are requesting donations from provide materials rather than cash? If you are writing to a business, find out the name of the lead officer; don't address your letter to the company (e.g., John Jones, President, 1st National bank, not The First National Bank. You can do this by calling the business beforehand and asking. Simplify: Dear Ms. Johnson: My name is Isaac R******** and I am a Life Scout in Boy Scout Troop 4070 of *******, New York. I am writing to secure donations for my Eagle Scout project to benefit the library at Saint Agnes School. Planning for my Eagle Scout Project began in January of this year, and it was approved in March by my Scouting District. The project entails building five bookcases for the library at Saint Agnes School. Each bookcase will be custom-built to fit its location and the materials it will store. The school has requested the new bookshelves be designed, constructed and finished to match the existing shelving. The project will also incorporate entering two bookcases’ worth of unprocessed books into the library’s catalog system. My project will benefit Saint Agnes School by replacing broken bookshelves, utilizing unused space, replacement of temporary bookcases, and store books that have been recently acquired by the school. Cataloging the books will assist the librarian with a task that s/he does not have time to do. To complete this project I must raise $815 for materials. Labor will be supplied by volunteers whom I will instruct and supervise. I humbly ask you for a donation to help purchase materials. My plan is to begin work April 5th, and will need the supplies by April 3rd. My goal is to complete the project by May 6th. Donations will be formally acknowledged in the form of a permanent plaque prominently displayed on one of the bookcases. Please contact me at 555-1212 if you have any questions. Thank you for your time and hopefully your support of this worthy project. ... Good luck! Keep on Scoutin'
3. Take out the part with all your credentials, you are a boy scout, that should be good enough for anyone who knows what that means.