Round Conference Tables

Why I can't find anything to talk about when I am meeting new people?

Everytime when I am meeting new people my mind goes blank and I dont have absolutely nothing to talk about. Like today me and my bro went to park with three chicks today and when I was alone with them sitting by the table I was competely silent. It happens alot, if other person will start conversation I can dial in and refer to it. So its becomes very uncomfortable everything I think to talk about doesnt interest me whats so ever so I dont think it will be intersting for anyone also, I think what ever I will say will be meaningless,boring , so is this like self esteem problem or something? is it depression since I think nothing is fun to talk about? and when people joke around I can hardly make my self laugh, barely anything can make me laugh now aday. I am always looking for other people to lead. So everytime I ever think about going out I dont want to go anymore and I get pretty sad and lonely. What could be wrong with me? How can I get out of this?

Public Comments

1. try to talk infront of the mirror. it sounds stupid but it helps build self esteem. i think that what is lacking in you. you wont even know if what you say is boring or if they wont have interest of what you would say if you dont even say it in the first place. i wish you goodluck with yourself.
2. you have to make a decision to change- one good thing about this is that you have already aknowledged that you have a problem - that is good - Self-esteem problem for sure ! I used to be like that, but then i decided that i must change, because i am unique, and so is every one else ! I think you lack social skills ? the best way to achieve them is to SOCIAL !! Just give your opinion , stand by your believes, and get the conversation going - you will be amazed at the response ! All the best - and start socializing -and enjoy life !!
3. Store up all the info on yahoo answers and become the life of the group by letting them all know the answers....
4. When you meet a new person, take a quick glance at them from head to toe, see if there is anything about them that could instantly start a conversation (such as, "What lovely shoes" or "Is that the new MP player from {brand X}?). Life is full of endless things to talk about (doesn't this site prove that), so focus less on what you're not finding the words to say and more on things that you can talk about when you meet someone new for the first time, as each situation will be slightly unique and therefore give you new things to discuss. Meeting in a bar vs meeting in a quite library will pose different things for you to talk about. Look around at your surroundings and grab something to engage your new acquaintance in conversation with. Your words are not boring, and it's a shame that you you feel that way. One of the keys to carrying any conversations for longer than a few seconds is confidence. But if you lack that in yourself it will come through and the conversation will often die. Perhaps one way to go, is to start by addressing the conversation to the other person will a general statement like, "Lovely summer weather we're having", wait for their reply and then somehow tie your comment about the weather to something about yourself that you'd like to bring up, such as, "Warm nights like this really make me want to go to the beach", or "I love summer because it gives me time to practise surfing". Don't be so hard on yourself, after all you're talking now and we're all paying attention to you. Remember to smile and look attentive when you talk and you'll soon have many a happy conversation.
5. You say your mind goes blank so say that. "Hi there, I can't think of a single thing to say". I bet you will get a response. Or you could say "Hello, I'm really shy". A nice person will immediately understand this and help you out.
6. yeah i agree with above, sounds like your going around in circles, you think you'll fail so your avoiding trying. this could go on forever because you'll never give yourself a chance to to prove to yourself otherwise.. if you get my drift... so you have to make a bold step and challenge the way your thinking by stepping out to prove your negative thoughts wrong. you clearly have the skills; you are articulate in your writing and you've identified that once the conversation is flowing then your fine.. pretty much everyone experiences these kinds of feelings at some period in thier life, I know I have. get plenty of exercise eat and drink well, find somthing your good at and then do it regualarly, don't do things that could bring you down (for most people smoking weed is bad, too much booze is bad, isolating themselves is bad). it is easier to talk to people if you are doing somthing together, just sitting around with new people is not going to encourage conversation, maybe try going walking in the hills, get a frisbie or hack, go to a movie together so you've got somthing to talk about..... also remember if there's silence between people, it's not just you thats being silent so don't judge yourself..... good luck and if your still stuck speak to someone about it, the worst thing you can do is sit and stew with only your negative thoughts for company.. :)
7. I know it is hard. Try not to be hard on yourself. Talk to people about their favorite topic. Guess what it is? Themself. Ask them about things they like to do. Girls especially will go on and on. Trust me I am one. Ask them about family friends and things they do and like. Complement them on things. Not personal things like their body, but hair or shoes. Not too creapy stuff. Just be a good listener and you will get more comfortable. If you feel depressed or really anxious perhaps you have a problem and should talk to a pyschiatrist. There is nothing wrong with that. Doctors are there to help you and if you are depressed they can help you with medication and counselling. All things can be worked on. We can grow as people and we can get help with whatever we need if it be a chemical aspect of our body or an emotional growth issue. Take care and look after yourself. It is good to see you have person intuition and perspective.
8. listen to what they have to say then jump in with your comments on that subject, that should break the ice
9. IF U FIND A SOLUTION FOR THIS TELL ME.I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM
10. Being with people does not mean to solve life's problems. Usually if you smile at someone they are more than willing to start a conversation. You have an introverted personality, this makes it difficult. If you throw out one of your ideas for discussion it can get very lively, especially when differing views start to come out. Never think you are a boring person that has nothing to offer. You have a lot to offer to everyone. You sound very intelligent, as a teen. Stop over intellectualizing everything. You have a serious personality which makes it hard to laugh at trivial jokes. That is OK too. People will have to accept you as you are. You have to accept people as they are. My teen son is going through this stage right now. He will out-grow it. Only problem with him is that he thinks talking is a waste of time. He is a little arrogant with it. If all else fails get counseling on self-esteem and depression.
11. Courage, my friend, couarge! I think that taking into account that you wrote such a long question in here, explaining your problem so interestingly to us - well, that is a proof in itself that you don't have a problem! Just talk about the things that are on your mind, no matter how trivial or complicated or boring they seem to you. There will always be someone who will be interested and talk it over with you, I am sure. Other than that, read the news more often - that is a good topic starter when socializing with people.